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Experience: If I had to Start All Over

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Join the most exciting new community on Family issues. You will like it. idealFamily.Com - Discuss family issues Life styles household, housekeeping and secrets to family life

IdealFamily.com is a clean community for all moms, dads and members of family who want to live a loving, fulfilling life. Please join it free and share your love. Win new friends and receive plenty of blessings and love.

I am married two years now - and we have little girl just over a year old. My husband is 10 years younger than me and he is not dealing with his responsibilities properly. He can go on a whole weekend drinking with his buddies and not contact me at all to let me know where he is or that he is safe. He does not spend any free time with us at all really. I have tried various different ways of trying to get him to see sense - but to no avail. My parents have had words with him in the past over this and it seems to be going over his head. I really do not know what to do. I dont want my marriage to fail but I am so tired of being in a full time job taking care of my child and making sure all the housework is done.

I have very little energy to discuss the matter with my husband. As I say I have tried to the nice approach and tried talking to him about it and he really does not seem to see what he is doing wrong. I really need to advice as to how I can save my marriage or should I just give up and start the process of leaving him. This has been going on really since I became pregnant with our first baby.

Well most of the symptoms that you describe are pretty common to young fathers who usually have a neo-depressive time during their wife's pregnancy. It somehow has something to do with their feeling that they have lost their wife as they see her change and become distant and different.
Thus they drift and try to find alternate ways to get distracted or loved.

The only thing you can do is to ignore him for some time and let him be as he wants to be. After a certain time if he approaches you, talk to him if is still interested to continue as a father of the baby and your husband.
Give him time to think. After that if he replies negatively you better start letting him go.

Well among other thing age or generation gap does matter specially after the birth of children. Hope you can talk to him and find solutions.
Please write.

editor

I am engaged to a lovely wonderful woman, and the wedding is planned for 6months from now. We have been together for 5 years, living together for over a year(engaged). I know she deserves the best, and 98% of the time I am that. but I am unable to be faithful in certain situations. i had one affair years ago that lasted two months. I had another affair recently that lasted over 6 months. Both of these affairs were physical only. If I am having trouble being faithful, should I call off the wedding, or try harder to be faithful?

sorry ladies, i know i am a pig. i love so much about my girl, but in the past i can't resist temptation. i have been faithful for 3 months, but i have been tempted.

I need advise about my marriage. I am a very senative and emotional woman that loves romance. My husband on the other hand is not at all romantic or acknowlegde my needs and wants when I express to him of my emptyness. What should I do. I personal feel I deserve a life of romance, kindness and the feeling of being wanted by my mate, besides I'm very beautiful to many men but my husband is not giving me the attention that I so want from him.

I am dealing with very frustrating feelings after getting married. I was a virgin when I got maried at age 23. After getting married I started getting feelings that I should have dated more before geting married. Sometimes I think that the only reason we got married was because my fiance was pregnant. So now I am dealing with regret and wish that I was more "adventurous" just like everyone else has done before they got married. So now everytime I go in public and see a pretty young and single woman, feelings of regret begin to spring up again. It gets to the point where I don't want to go out in public just to keep from getting reminded of whats "out there". Does anyone have advice for me in helping me deal with these feelings? I am 26 now and I am not getting any younger and my window of opportunity to do what I think is right is getting smaller. Please help!!

Rick please man, at 26 you feel older? You sure ARE quite young and dont think so passively.

I can tell you that most men in marriage do find other women always more beautiful and attractive. It seems to be like an illusion that remains there in mind for many years till the relation is solidified.

Work on your partner the best you can and try to smoothen any rough edges. If you think there is no chemistry or you cant get along on the road ahead, discuss this with your partner and you both should evaluate if you are on track.

If you are married it does not mean you cant meet others or have cordial relations with other women. You should socialize and feel 26 but be natural.
Just by not going to a public place is not going to solve anything. You should love your wife and try to connect with her on all possible levels but that does not mean that you should feel so regretful of your selection of wife. All that happens is part of our destiny and we should accept it.
What do you think?
ed.

If your spouse has been unfaithful several times and is abusive then you have grounds for a divorce. it says in the bible that if there is a repeated offense which constitutes to a "hardness of the heart" then there is grounds for a divorce. God divorced himself from Isreal when the country decided to go its own way. So if God can divorce from adultery than God would want the same for you if you are in an adulterous marriage.

i love this site, pretty useful.

my wife and i have been together for 6 years married for 2. we have two children 3years and 8 months, both boys. i have negleted my relationship with my boys and now realize this issue but only after she has threatened to leave me with the boys. does anybody have any advice on how to repair my relationships with my family?
i wanted to know if anybody has been in a similar cituation and if so, what happened if you salvaged what was left how did you do it?

hi i am only 24 married for 2 years have a 2year old daughter who is the best. my first true love from 7 years ago just showed back up in the picutre and i have never stopped loving him. i realized that i do not love my husband with everything that i love my first true love with. we live in a small town and i am trying to get up the courage to file for divorce. my true love is very sincere and doesn't not want to disrespect my marriage however i kind of wish he would. my question is has anyone else ever been in this position

i just found out that my husband has been unfaithful by checking his voice mail in his cell phone. he saids he wants to stay with me but that he is still friends with this girl. he wants me to trust him but he now locks his phone. what should i do

recently me and my husband seperated because of his drinking and emotional abuse while we was separated i had an affair more like a one time thing i was drinking. now we are back together and the rumors of this is going around and i told him it never happened simply because he threatens to kick me out over this what should i do? Tell him the truth or what ?

I AM HAVING A VERY HARD DECISION TO DIVORCE. I REALLY NEED TO KNOW ON WHAT GROUNDS DO I NEED FOR A DIVORCE.MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN UNFAITHFUL SEVERAL TIMES WITH THE SAME WOMAN AND I AM TOLD BY HIM THAT I HAVE A UNFORGIVNESS HEART AND THAT I AM WRONG IN GODS EYES IF I WERE TO GET A DIVORCE...HE HAS ALSO BEEN VERY ABUSIVE AND I AM JUST SO CONFUSED AS TO WHAT I CAN DO ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE...

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