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• My wife's letter to me !!! [7] 1/1 10:57pm

• My wife cheated on me with my brother-in-law [25] 12/29 10:26pm

• Married 10 years with 3 kids--wife not in love anymore. [12] 7/19 03:33pm

• WHY!!!!!!WHY!!!! How come men and or women can not be FAITHFUL? [8] 7/18 10:51am

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• Marriage Failing [8] 11/9 12:03am

• Does Separation Helps? [29] 9/16 11:44pm

• Wife and I seperated and I dont know what is going on. [8] 8/4 02:50pm

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• Wife began emailing ex boyfriend [2] 1/8 10:59am

• My wife doesn't love me [16] 1/2 06:37am

• NEED advise [34] 9/11 11:00pm

• He cant get a grip of my simplicty [1] 7/28 04:05pm

• Separation after 23 years [3] 5/20 06:32pm

• My wife and i are separated - unsure if she loves [3] 5/3 08:29am

• How do I talk to my fiancee about sex? [4] 10/21 11:24pm

• I hurt my wife once while dating and now married and separated [2] 10/21 02:24am

• Hurt my wife bad and trying to heal what I have done [1] 5/2 03:27am

• I FIND LAUGHTER THE BEST SOLUTION!!! [2] 3/5 11:15pm

• Separation [1] 7/16 06:50pm

• Archive through September 27, 2001 [20] 9/27 04:15am

• Archive through July 12, 2002 [7] 7/12 11:11am

Join the most exciting new community on Family issues. You will like it. idealFamily.Com - Discuss family issues Life styles household, housekeeping and secrets to family life

IdealFamily.com is a clean community for all moms, dads and members of family who want to live a loving, fulfilling life. Please join it free and share your love. Win new friends and receive plenty of blessings and love.

Just found out a guy my wife met in a
professional setting has been pursuing her
on cell, text and email. She's flattered by the
attention and clearly hasn't set the guy
straight. I found out about this and, this being
a pattern in our marriage (wife is always
looking for this sort of outside validation from
other men), I want to send a message to this
guy to drop it. I've never done this and wonder
if anyone has any sage advice.

i have been married for a year and a half now. i have a 4month old daughter. my hubby and i were good friends before marriage . the relationship changed in to love and then marriage. but after i got marriage this man has completely changed. he expects me to live on his terms. i dont know why but he hates my parents and does not let me go to my parents home. he and his family have a problem with my parents bigtime. anything that they do or say never satisfies them. my husband has also uttered really bad names for my parents and when i try to stop him and says that i should not advocate them.he has many time threatened me to divorce me and take away my daughter.
i have always tried to be good with his family.and they dont have any major problems with my treatment. my hubby and his family expects me to live for them, according to them, fo whatever my husband likes, in short die for them. even if he curses my parents and speaks ill of them, i should still maintain his respect in my parents home.. the marriage has completely brought and end to the firendship we shared.. i cant breathe in this environment.. and i cant let my daughter grow up in such a disgusting environment.
my inlaws, preach that once a girl is married she has nothing to do with her parents.. on the otherhand my motherin law just spent 3 months at my sisterin laws place for her delivery and now the sister in laws in gonna spent 2 months in her mother's house.. and as for me.. i was not allowed to go to my parents place for my delivery by my hubby cuz my husband demammanded that the delivery should take place in one of the very expensive hospitals . my parents refused as they did not want to encourage his demmands.. laws are different for daughters and daughter in laws.. i need advice.. marriage has completely ruined my confidence and i dont like the way i am living..HELP

I am single and have a girlfriend. I have a couple friends that now are married with children. Since I very rarely get to see them anymore, although we're all still very good friends, i suggested that we start in 2005, an annual trip. Every one of us is in a relationship and it would just to hang out and have fun away from it all for 1 weekend. Friday to Sunday. 1 of them has a wife that does not trust him. The other 1 says he works a lot and is afraid he'll miss his family too much if he's away that long. They say when I'm married and have children I'll understand, however my girlfriend thinks it's a great idea and I can honestly say that if we were to get married and have children she would not only allow and approve such a thing, she'd encourage a trip once a year for 1 weekend with my best friends. Am I wrong in being annoyed as can be with my friends for not wanting to plan an event like this? My other 4 friends (1 of which lives in another state and another that just recently ahd his 2nd child) are game if there is a plan and enough notice. That seems reasonable to me! Suggestions???

Richard, my wife says she don't love me any more I think she's having a problem , every time I ask for some real important thing to me she shoots me down. I have kept her in fine style for 20 years, even with her, me, my, mine, thinking. I've spoiled her and given in. This time I'm stumped you see I want a new home built on property we own next to our home here on the water. When I figured out how to do it financially and had the contractor all picked out and she had the colors of carpeting , doors, the cuboards, the trim,the style and sizes all finished she has this temper tantrim and says no we are not going to do this, get me a refund. Well, this has happened before several times, we get nothing done and waste my and the other peoples time, she has a fear of loss of control. last time she had a temper tantrim I had been driving too many hours in our motorhome pulling a car behind, up in the boonies some where I decided to get some rest, so I pull over and take a nap on the bed over the cab of the motorhome, I sort of woke up to screams and the vehicle going into and out of a ditch and jacknifing sideways in the middle of a gravel road, we were not hurt the mess it made was really something. she couldn't wait for me to wake up and drive to a place to park for the night. The motorhome was damaged the car was too.I am so frusterated with her. especially because it's going to make our retirement income triple if we decide to sell this place, with the new one next to it. It would have been a $500,000.00 dollar package to move on and re settle in another place would have given me a better chance to live a good life. we love to travel. I think a temporary separation would be great. I'm a cancer survivor and have a kidney transplant I woulds like to get a nice motorhome and retire as a gypsey and travel in the winter south & north in spring. but I don't need to have the aggravation of a sporatic temper tantrim self centered person around.I'm at my whits end and hate to desolve my retirement invome and home now I'll loose bigtime, she will make out somehow she always does it her way.and I'm not playing this game any more.

regarding my message on May 13, 2003; me and my wife are now separated. my wife cheated on me when she was overseas. i found this out when she came back from Iraq. the other man is in her unit, is married and has two children. i found letters and pictures. she admitted to it after i showed the proof. i slaped her across the face once; i was hurt, disgusted, raged for her lies. reading my own message makes it more clear that i was a fool; what was happening was obvious. i trusted her too much, maybe because i wanted to believe it wasn't true. i never cheated on her. i dont believe in marriage or women anymore and would never trust another woman again. i thought she was a good woman. she is a liar, my whole marriage was a lie. I thank God for freeing me from her; better now than 10 years down the road. This hurt me but it will not be the end of me. It only makes me stronger and an eye-opener. It is her lost not mine. Gracias!

richard i would say its over and you cant trust her she does not value your marriage she is not putting her children before her career. i was in the military in for 11 yrs .your wife has did her time if she wants to get out, but it looks as if you and the children are taking a back seat to her career.Her wanting an open marriage telling you you can do anything you want.Why do you think that came into her mind.well i would say shes not sleeping alone at night thats why she really doesnt care if your out getting with somebody else. i could sit here and sugar coat it but listen to what you said and how it would sound if somebody was telling you this same situation about somebody you didnt know.

Hola, I am 23. Me and my wife have been married 3 ½ yrs. My wife is in the military. She was deployed to Kuwait for 9 months in 2002. She came back and was deployed a month and a half later to the war in Iraq. She is now there. My wife is now giving me strong hints that she doesn’t want to be married to me anymore. We have a 2-year-old beautiful boy and I have a 3-½ year old girl from another unmarried relationship. We married when we were both 19 and we fought a lot (mostly over stupid things). We fought about everyday. This eventually stopped around our second year of marriage. It was too late thought; we don’t joke or laugh much with each other. We act different around our friends (happy) and we barely smile with each other. I notice when she is with her friends she is a different person; she laughs, makes jokes, sounds happy. I love to see her like that but it also hurts me that she isn’t like that around me. I am the same way too with my friends so I don’t blame her. I try not to joke around with her much cause I don’t want to offend or make her mad. She says I control her because I’d get mad at her for spending too much money (she maxes her credit card often). She has changed and controls herself good now. One time I told her to quit blowing money or I’d think of leaving her.
When she was in Kuwait I went to my friends house (a girl) with my son; but there was always another person there with her/his kids. Our spouses were both in Kuwait. We are also from the same country. It is good to find someone to talk to with your own nationality. I didn’t have any other interest in these girl friends other than have people to spend time, talk, and joke around with.
As you can see we have been separated for a year now. The first time she was gone it was harder to deal being alone. I was finishing college and working and taking care of our son. This time around, even though easier to deal with loneliness, our relationship is weaker. We fought (about everyday) when she came back from Kuwait. We were very different. I wasn’t perfect either. She didn’t have interest in sex, she had some medical problems but she wasn’t communicating with me about it. I wanted to at least talk about her issues but she didn’t. She left to Iraq and we only made love four times, many times it was after I begged for it. I didn’t want it to be like that but I missed her touch so bad. I know I sound a little weak but I love my wife.
We talk on the phone every week but never have much to say to each other. A month ago she told me on the phone that she taking a vacation alone as soon as she gets back. Not with our son or me. She wants to be alone to think and sort her head and think about her life. At first she didn’t want to give me much detail so I called her selfish for going away after so much time apart without spending time with her family first. She said I’m selfish for not understanding that she needs this time cause in Iraq she has all her co-workers (soldiers) around so she’s not alone. I now tell her she can go ahead and take her vacation. It is true she deserves it. She said on the phone that we don’t even want to talk to each other on the phone. This led to a long conversation where she said that we got married too young, that we didn’t know each other anymore (I agree), that we didn’t know if we want to be with each other anymore, that she didn’t want to go back to the fighting and the clashes we had at home.


I told her things were bad but I wanted to try and save our relationship; try to fix it. She kept repeating do I want to go back to “that”. I said yes and yes but she kept insisting how bad it was. I agree, we were too young and fought too much. We were broke and fought a lot about money too. The army is not an easy life for a couple either; she is always away for weeks. She then said she wants to stay in the military and make it a career (retire after 20 years). She will do it even though she knows I don’t like it and we had plans that she was going to get out of the military and go to college after I graduated and started working (which I am). She said she is willing to take the risk of being sent on deployment cause she likes her job (its easy) in the military. She said its better to be away now while our son is only 2 cause he isn’t affected much (I disagree) than when he is older. I said the price of having her job is too high and I’d not be willing to pay for it: being separated from my wife that long is too much. She has orders to go to Korea for a year sometime when she comes back from the war. She basically said you shouldn’t give up on your dreams or stuff you want because of marriage.
I told her if she needed time alone that when she got back I’d move out so she could have her time free and we could start over and meet each other over again. She agreed. She said she was going to hang out with her friends; she’s made some strong relationships where she’s at (male and female friends). I asked her if we were going to have an “open marriage”. She said she was planning to go to her military school for promotion and didn’t have plans to date people while she’s a married woman. She then said that we shouldn’t be stopped from doing something we wanted to do because we’re married. That if I wanted to do something to go ahead and do it. I was choked to hear that and hurt.
And now she wants me to find a place and move out before she is back. That hurt to hear her say that. I wanted to at least be home to say welcome back. She says if I’m home then it might as well not even move out cause it won’t help. I don’t understand her. Why the big rush. I don’t want to move out anymore and am planning to tell her so tonight. I didn’t want to ask her if she’s found someone else because I trusted her and also wanted to respect her that much. Things are going too far so I’m going to ask her if there’s someone else or she doesn’t want to be with me and she’s not telling me for some weird reason.
I want to worked things out but I don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m not wanted. Nor will I be in an open marriage or will I forgive cheating. You either love me or you don’t. There is no need to go party to find out if you really love me. Am I right? Am I being too hard? The last part I will not change about myself. Please respond to my message. I know its long but I need your help. Thank you.

WELL 2 YEARS AGO MY HUSBAND HAD AND AFFAIR FOR SIX MONTHS OR LONGER ABUSED ME TERRIBLE AND EVEN LEFT FOR THE OTHER WOMAN SAID HE DID NOT LOVE ME AND WAS NOT COMING HOME WELL I MET A MAN JUST NEEDING SOMEONE TO TALK TO HE TRIED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS SO I GOT UP AND LEFT WANTING TO HURT MY HUSBAND AS MUCH AS HE HURT ME I LEAD HIM TO BELIEVE I WENT WITH THIS MAN BUT I LATER TOLD HIM I DIDN'T NOW HE IS ACTING STRANGE TO ME LIKE I AM SOME KIND OF TRASH THIS IS GETTING OLD TO ME AND I AM GETTING TIRED OF HIM ACTING LIKE A ROOM MATE INSTEAD OF A HUSBAND AT THE END OF MY WITS.

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