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• Legal Separation & divorce - Laws and definitions [25] 1/17 09:54pm

• Legal seperation [19] 1/11 11:19pm

• Repairing a marriage after seperation [26] 12/25 10:49am

• Looking to seperate he is in military! [14] 9/2 01:29pm

• Want to leave my partner but nowhere to go with 2 children [2] 8/29 10:45pm

• Whats the difference between divorce, annulment and legal seperation? [48] 8/22 07:07am

• Verbally Abusive; want to leave him [1] 7/21 10:20pm

• Husband cheating and wants to move out [1] 7/15 02:48am

• My Wife Left me - recently started talking to a "male" friend online [14] 7/1 12:03am

• Living together after separation [18] 8/30 06:19pm

• Marriage not working after two months [1] 7/16 12:57am

• Im a male 40 i work hard but my wife dosnt work but says o never make enough money so it keeps me streessed [6] 7/15 11:52am

• Legal Seperation and In-Law [2] 7/12 04:15pm

• Legal Seperation compared to a Divorce [36] 5/6 02:13am

• Giving up rights? [3] 4/15 11:22am

• I cheated and now it cant get back to normal [9] 3/2 04:54am

• Which state cant i sue my husband for marital rape in? [6] 2/17 01:30am

• Marrage and cousions [3] 2/11 04:49am

• Living in mistery with no where to go [11] 2/8 02:30pm

• Husband doesn't know that i know he is cheating. [3] 1/16 04:28pm

• Sister worried about cheating brother in laws abusive ways [1] 12/21 05:26pm

• He Cheated and gave me an STD [18] 10/26 08:35pm

• How do I file for a seperation without an attorney? [18] 8/26 03:37pm

• Online cheating [3] 8/14 05:24am

• Married but not living together for 13 yrs [1] 10/6 10:57pm

• Archive through October 15, 2001 [6] 10/15 01:26pm

• Archive through August 17, 2002 [13] 8/17 11:19pm

• Archive through February 02, 2003 [5] 2/2 01:12pm

Join the most exciting new community on Family issues. You will like it. idealFamily.Com - Discuss family issues Life styles household, housekeeping and secrets to family life

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Hi I am 30 years old, have three boys, 6-5-and 7 months old. My husband the father of all three boys, is currently in jail for contempt, failure to pay bacl child support. For a child he has never known, was always kept from knowing. The mother didn't want him around. The child is know 15. I just want to know what I am supposed to do? We have been married for 11 years, and has never been away from me or the boy's and this really hurting us. The boy's are too young to really understand and they think Daddy isn't coming back I have told them where he is, in jail, and I pray that it doesn't effect them when they are older. But what do I do know? He's going to be in the for 6 months and i am going to lose everything in that time. We haven't been able to buy a house because of the back child support being on our credit. And that happened because she went to court when the boys was about 5. So all the back got put on him in one lump sum of 35,000.00. Our payments onthat were 800 a month and that made life very diffcult. We've lost two vehicles and had to move in with my parents, just to be able to meet the court ordered amounts. We finally moved out of my parents home and moved into a lease to purchase home. We have been here for 1 month, and they lock him up. Now I am going to lose this house and the only chance we had at ever owning a home. My gas got shut off today, my electric is soon to follow. We have no money, never could save anything with having to pay so much a month on the child support. I am left here alone, with 3 small children and I am scared. I am just hoping someone out there can tell me what I need to do. I need my husband home, I need a job, but no one wants to hire me. I am the sole care giver to all three boys and if they should get sick while in daycare, I'm all they have to come and get them. I have no family able to help. And no one wants me knowing that I may have to take off work for that reason. So what do I do?? I have the power of prayer, i have my church family and they have enabled me to live in my home for another month. But what do I do when the rents due again. And all the bills. My church helped as much as they could and they can do no more. I'm just scared. Someone help me please.

My wife swung a heavy guitar and almost killed me, scarred my left eyebrow, hurt my eye and face even teeth, but I'm okay now. Then I called the cops, but i changed my mind, and while she was in handcuffs she tried to say I raped her. I was put in jail but then released without charges, but in the meantime she voluntarily surrendered our two children to the state, and then she moved in with her brother. I love her so much, but now I feel destroyed...while in jail i called her and I said "Im sorry, I love you, I dont want a divorce..." to which she replied, "Well I don't love you anymore, I'm done with men." ...luckily my parents are getting custody, but as for her, she is now divorcing me and putting a restraining order on me. I have a lawyer now, and we have a strategy, but it hurts so much cause we were married for 9 years. The problems were that she was a victim of child abuse, and she saw her mother get raped as a child. She was in state custody for a longtime as well, until i met her, and we fell in love. I tried to be a good man, but she would not put out as much, and she liked to have male friendships that she would call at home. How can I get over her, and will she ever snap out of her mindtrip? I miss her, but she wants nothing to do with me. The morning of our problem we argued about money but then tried to make love and I stopped it, took a shower then we argued about it, then she said, "you ruined my credit" then she attacked me with a guitar.

please help, advise would be appreciated. thanks...


As per your message the sudden temper changes in her are caused most probably by buried hurt emotions as childhood memories remain vivid good or bad, unless released sooner or later.

It is better that you remain quiet and let her deal with her life. You wont be able to help her out at this stage as she will project her ANGER or resentment in you. The best you can do is accept her and accept all her actions for now and let her grow on her own. Dont force your 'love' on her as it will backfire, at least at this stage. After a cooling off period, she will herself contact you almost surely and or if you are to be together again, a situation will arise that will create a face to face encounter. However during this absence you should forgive her and send her your good wishes telepathically. She will sure get them. Her disturbed childhood and her inability so far to deal with that sad memory will drive her to more introspection and soon she will realize that it is not your fault nor you are the cause.

In your place if it was another person she will still behave in the same way, most probably, hence you need not feel guilty. From your side you have given her the best but unfortunately the buried emotions surfaced as we cant hide them, they must burst out sooner or later.

She probably needs some solitary time and do some thinking. Dont take it personally nor be offended for her outburst as probably her conduct was prompted by momentary anger or sudden outburst of some resentment.

Hope you can strengthen yourself by keeping it strong, taking care of the kids and sending her best wishes. Things will one day settle on their soon one fine day!

editor

Please help!!! I have been married for 3 yrs. have a 20 mo. & 3 mo. old. my husband lies, steals money from me and the kids, is totally disrespectfull of me, my kids and my family. He recently got out of the military and we have moved to Wis. near my family. Last Christmas I got stranded in WI while he was in Kansas. It took me a couple of months to get back down there. In the mean time he didn't pay one bill, not even rent, wrote over $3,000 dollars of bad checks, failed a military drug test, and there were reports of him cheating on me. I was 7 mo. pregnant with my youngest son when the electric bill collector knocked on my door and told me I needed to come up with $789.00 in 48 hrs. or my electricity was going to be shut off, not caring I had a 12 mo. old in the home. I had to ask my grandfather for help. My grandfather is generous, but also a penny-pincher, he helped then, but won't again. Now my brother-in-law caught him at a strip club after work one night, when we havn't even saved up enough money to get our own place. I wnat to leave him, but am also too trusting, he keeps saying he'll change, for me, and most of all for the kids, but I can't wait forever. He is also threating to take one or both of the kids to Chicago, where his family lives, and make it so I can't see them again.
If anyone has any advice, please share it with me. I need help for mine and most of all my two kids's welfare!!!!!

NEED HELP PLEASE...
I have 2 children ages 3 and 4 months, I have been married for 4 years in the state of PA and I really don't know what to do. I'm not happy at all and I want out but I'm afraid of losing my kids,I don't work and haven't in 4 years. I don't know any of my options. I want to move out of state but I'm not sure if I can take my kids across the state line. Please if there is anyone that can help I'd greatly appericate it

You do not even know the cause of your happiness, how will you be able to handle two young kids without any means whatsoever seemingly in your hand.

How selfish one can be?
Can you please think with your mind instead of heart?

If you want any suggestion please grow up and BE RESPONSIBLE for your actions.
Your playing with lives of two infants is naive and very poor decision.

Instead communicate and talk to your spouse and discuss your insecurities and dissatisfaction and try find the real cause of your unhappiness.
Chances are you are simply running from your ownself and wherever you go you will feel that way.

Do not run away from your own self. Look carefully at your own self and you will find answers. To think that another person will be able to give you happiness in another state is nothing but a lovely dream.

Face life and confront it.

Editor

I have been married for 37 years and while I was at the doctors, my husband left with our next door neighbour. He does not want to see his 2 children or grandchildren. If I want or need any money I am supposed to sell off whatever is in the apartment. I have a legal-aid lawyer but she has not done anything to help me in the past 8 months. I have only received 2 letters and 2 phone calls. I am living on 477 a month while he has 2,ooo a month. I just don't know what to do. Can you help me please?

I have been with my fiance for 2 years now. I love her with all my heart. I just find that I can't trusr her she has not really givin me a reason not to. I just have a issue with trust period. She is a beautiful women but has issues with give emotional support. We have just found out that we are having a baby. This is a joyish occassion. She has also just graduated from collage. She ran into a old friend from high school. This guy is very attractive and successful but a snake. Well he offered to get her in with the company that he works for and he did. Now I have to deal with the fact that that she is going so see him everyday. Now I can't help thinking the worst that there is an inevitable affair just waiting to happen. She says tha she has no interest in this guy but as a friend. She knows the way he is and he will go home with anyone. I want more then anything for this to work out but I have a hard time putting my jelousy and inability to trust out of the way. If there is anyone out there that can give me some advise on how to trust her and get over my insecurities please give all imput.

i'm 38 and i have been marrierd for 5 years and i'm on social security and only get 400.00 a month and i'm in a bad marriage
and i need to get out of but i have no money to move 140 miles where my kids are and get a place to live can someone help me??or help me get a gov. grant..please help i don't know what to do and i have no one to help me ...can someone help me ???

What is the difference bettwen a legal seperation and a divorce?

I have been in a monogomous relationship with the same man for almost four years now. we are planning to get married very soon this november actually, and he has a past of hiding things from me. Like alcohol, pornographic material as well as objects, I love him more than anything in the world but how do i overcome what he has done to me and how can i learn to trust him fully again?

You know well his nature and you should accept it. He will always have this nature. You cant change him. If you accept this and can handle it marry him, if not COMMUNICATE all your hidden fears that you find it irritating his attitude of hiding stuff. If you love someone you have to accept them with their flaws and weaknesses.

Editor

I have been married for 10 years and have one daughter. For the past 6 year there is no intimate ralationship between me and my husband. I have been very faithful to him becauce my body is the temple of God and I would not defile God's temple. My main problem is his alcoholic behaviour. he will use the money to pay bills and buy the alcohol and when he does not have enough he would pawn anything he can find in the house. The last thing he pawn recently was my camcorder that I paid 449 dollars for. There is no communication between us. He is always very angry. If I try to talk to him about his problem and told him to get help, he would malice me and there is nothing I can do to get through to him. I spoke to my pastor and he alway prayed with me. The situation is very hard to deal with because I do not want my little girl to grow up without a father figure in the house and I have no intention of dating or marrying again. I prayed and asked the Lord to take away my sexual desires and he sure did. So I don't need a man. What kind of advise can you give me. I am thinking of leaving him but when I think of the amount of money he makes, he would'nt be able to take care of himself and pay child support. I feel sorry for him but I have to take a stand. He is very arrogant and full of pride. What do you thing I should do?

i have been married for 10 years and have one daughter. for the past 6 year there is no intimate ralationship between me and my husband. i have been very faithful to him becauce my body is the temple of God and i would not defile God's temple. my main problem is his alcoholic behaviour. he will use the money to pay bills and buy the alcohol and when he does not have enough he would pawn anything he can find in the house. the last thing he pawn recently was my camcorder that i paid 449 dollars for. there is no communication between us. he is always very angry. if I try to talk to him about his problem and told him to get help, he would malice me and there is nothing i can do to get through to him. i spoke to my pastor and he alway prayed with me. the situation is very hard to deal with because i do not want my little girl to grow up without a father figure in the house and i have no intention of dating or marrying again. i prayed and asked the Lord to take away my sexual desires and he sure did. so i don't need a man. what kind of advise can you give me. i am thinking of leaving him but when i think of the amount of money he makes, he would'nt be able to take care of himself and pay child support. i feel sorry for him but i have to take a stand. he is very arrogant and full of pride. what do you thing i should do? please answer me via e-mail if you can at Moulton20032000@Yahoo.com. thank you very much.

Is there a web site that lets you download usable divorce forms or legal seperation forms for free?

I am a mother of 2 small children, with a husband of ten years (6 years prior dating) who has now become a distant partner in our relationship. He states he has not been happy for a long time and would like to dissolve the marriage but he has (2) reasons not to, 1. he doesn't want his children brought up in a broken home and 2. it would cost him too much $$$ to divorce me. He says I am the love of his life but feels I am too controlling and not trusting, I do have my reasons for not trusting. He has agreed to go to marriage counseling immediatley to try and "fix" our problems, but I don't feel he would be truly honest and as he stated would be "another waste of time", referring to how I have "wasted 16 years of his life". I do feel he has been unfaithful, but unable to prove it. He just turned 30 a few months ago and I do believe he might be going through a mid-life crisis. I do want to rebuild this relationship and make it work, he does seem very willing to go to counseling, but seems a little doubtful. Once a man says to his wife "I am no longer happy, I want out" is there any hope of this changing?

my husbnd has left me with no money and two children I try to reason with him and he chooses to make empty promises. he works for the government how do I make him support his children? I don't even have money to buy diapers it is an emergency

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