|
NEW community site to expand your social life DatingMating.com - JOIN FREE |
Marriage Going Down ! How to Handle the Crisis|
NEW community site to expand your social life DatingMating.com - JOIN FREE |
Marriage Going Down ! How to Handle the Crisis
 Join the most exciting new community on Family issues. You will like it.
|
| IdealFamily.com is a clean community for all moms, dads and members of family who want to live a loving, fulfilling life. Please join it free and share your love. Win new friends and receive plenty of blessings and love. |
[2] 10/5 01:00am
|
Join the most exciting new community on Family issues. You will like it.
|
| IdealFamily.com is a clean community for all moms, dads and members of family who want to live a loving, fulfilling life. Please join it free and share your love. Win new friends and receive plenty of blessings and love. |
| By Anonymous on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 03:26 am: |
I am married to my wife of 11 years. She is the only woman
I've ever been sexually intimate with and I am the only man
she has ever been intimate with. Neither of us have ever
cheated on each other. We have 2 children. My wife fell in
love with me prior to our marriage, but I do not believe I
have ever been in love with her. Both of us were very
religious during the courtship process. I have become less
religious over the past 11 years as a result of the
philisophical dilemma this has presented, but continue to go
to church. Because of the strong religious feelings I had
during courtship, I married my wife because I felt like it was
what God wanted for me. I love my children so much. I find
any and all emotional fulfillment in life through watching
them grow and progress. I haven't fully told my wife how
depressed and void of emotional fulfillment my relationship
with her is, though we've been to counseling in regards to
some of the difficulties we've faced, so she has an idea of
my unhappy state. How do you say to your spouse, "I've
never loved you."? What kind of dialogue could there be in
that conversation and how devastating would that be to her?
I thought love could be learned or achieved. I wish I knew
what true intimate love felt like. I hear of other couples that
have loving relationships and know it must exist. Having
had my own parents divorce when I was young, I fear
divorce and what it might do to my children, so for now I
sacrifice my own search for joy and happiness to try and
give my children a semblance of emotional and family
stability. I've tried hard to make this work and am as empty
as a drum. I'm getting ready to turn 39 and begin to think
that perhaps there wont be anyone better out there for me.
What should I do?
Dear Friend
Your message is clear and very well communicated.
Perhaps many people will be able to share such experience with you. Its really painful, hard to understand but quite common n realistic aspect of married life.
Having understood your ordeal, could you please throw some light on your idea of LOVE, in nutshell your definition of what ideal love should be that you are missing in your relationship?
Do you believe that if you fall madly in love with someone, and you both agree to marry, is there any way to know if that relation will also succeed as a marriage alliance?
Would you please elaborate and then we can have a conversation. Please feel free to write more.
editor
| By Kim on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 05:59 pm: |
My husband slept with another girl and now wants to do anything to save our marriage and family. I never thought he would go as far as this. We have been married almost 5 years and been together including marriage for 13 years. We have definately had our ups and downs. Our kids are 2, 3 and 13 years old. He had moved out for about 2 months because he couldn't take the guilt of knowing what he did to me and put me through the pain that I'm going through right now, but he moved back home 2 weeks ago after I found out everything on my own. He was with this girl twice and carried on telephone conversations for about 5 months. I have completely lost the trust that I had with him and I do still love him. He has signed us up for a marriage retreat, he has done some counseling on his own, we had a couple of marriage counseling sessions and have went to church a few times and he has changed alot but will he keep doing everything it takes. I don't want my kids raised in a split home, don't want to lose our house and make any changes that effect the kids, but I am unhappy. My husband will be in our lives forever since he takes very good care of the kids and will remain a big part of their lives. Advice anyone.
| By samantha on Sunday, July 3, 2005 - 07:13 pm: |
i'm sick of my husband
| By Anonymous on Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 06:57 pm: |
My story begins when I started dating my now husband back in 2001, the relationship started out rough, we slept with eachother the first night we met, and we were both not stable in life. Time went on and we continued to date and eventually it started to get serious, which I wanted, but I was scared. I had been seeing other people on the side every now and then, and then a one night stand with a guy and BAM! I'm pregnant. My husband (bf at the time) did not know that I was cheating on him. Once he found out that I was pregnant, and that it was not his, he was rightly so ferious. He left me and said he didn't want to be with me. A couple weeks passed and he had been going to counseling and decided he wanted to talk to me...that lead to us starting to hang out again, and him deciding to wanting to marry me and take care of my baby. Happy!? right? Well, yes I was happy because I wasn't going to have to raise a child on my own, and I was happy because this is what I thought I wanted. Did I love him? I don't know, I thought I did. But now, I am feeling very depressed, unhappy, unfulfilled. I am on anti-depressents.. I don't feel like I ever really loved him , I feel like I jumped into this just because it seemed "right" and "safe". Now, i have been conversing with an old friend who we have a past together, he is like my best friend, and I truely care for him, and I'm having thoughts of leaving my husband. But if I were to do that, I would take away our son, and that would kill him. I don't want to do that. But I am so unhappy...I just don't know what to do..
| By nowhere on Monday, January 31, 2005 - 07:26 am: |
Anon u r "very depressed, unhappy, unfulfilled. I am on anti-depressents" just because of your past,and u still want to continue the same.coz u were never serious about child and family,u just wanted Njoy life, flirting around.if u want to go go,but leave child to your husband, at least he will get better life.
women realise only when its too late.
| By Anonymous on Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 07:04 pm: |
My story begins when I started dating my now husband back in 2001, the relationship started out rough, we slept with eachother the first night we met, and we were both not stable in life. Time went on and we continued to date and eventually it started to get serious, which I wanted, but I was scared. I had been seeing other people on the side every now and then, and then a one night stand with a guy and BAM! I'm pregnant. My husband (bf at the time) did not know that I was cheating on him. Once he found out that I was pregnant, and that it was not his, he was rightly so ferious. He left me and said he didn't want to be with me. A couple weeks passed and he had been going to counseling and decided he wanted to talk to me...that lead to us starting to hang out again, and him deciding to wanting to marry me and take care of my baby. Happy!? right? Well, yes I was happy because I wasn't going to have to raise a child on my own, and I was happy because this is what I thought I wanted. Did I love him? I don't know, I thought I did. But now, I am feeling very depressed, unhappy, unfulfilled. I am on anti-depressents.. I don't feel like I ever really loved him , I feel like I jumped into this just because it seemed "right" and "safe". Now, i have been conversing with an old friend who we have a past together, he is like my best friend, and I truely care for him, and I'm having thoughts of leaving my husband. But if I were to do that, I would take away our son, and that would kill him. I don't want to do that. But I am so unhappy...I just don't know what to do..
| By Anonymous on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 06:27 am: |
Im married with 1 child,but im not happy with my marriage,i got married at a stressed period,my parents were going through a divorce,i got married to get out the house,im trying so hard to love my husband,but i cant my heart is somewere else,i dont know what to do,my husband loves me very much,i feel sorry for him,the man i love knows im married he is not happy about it,so we are not in good terms,in case you wondering why dint i marry him,well he was not ready at the time,he was living with his parents and was still in university,plz help me i feel like im going crazy
| By Jen on Saturday, August 21, 2004 - 05:49 pm: |
Sleeping with the enemy.
My husband has been undermining me.
I have come to a slow realization that my husband lies and has loose lips. He has told his friends and family private things about our lives and our marriage, even after he says he would never, that he never did or would. Then how else would my in-laws have so much against me? I have caught him red-handed telling his parents stuff about me, I was standing in the next room and I was floored. He apologized and said "it'll never happen again". Well it has, again, and again. He then comes back to tell me that his family hates me because of all of these things that should be kept private (sex life, stuff about my job, how I cook, clean, etc.) He makes me look like a loser, and his mother and sisters do everything right, and everything better than me. He keeps coming back to tell me the really nasty things they say about me, but I "shouldn't worry about it". He does it to maniupulate me. And it has, as busy as I am, I just work harder so he can't say anything about me, nor can they. What else can I do?
When I confront him about his looseness, he gets loud and yells "you just don't want to cook or do anything for me." I don't tell my friends or family things about him that he would find hurtful, I don't even say anything about my in-laws. Why bother my parents with something to worry about? I'm really not confrontational. I just don't think its right to tear down the walls of your house. His friends joke around that he can't ever keep his mouth shut. Well its not funny to me, I work too hard to be critcized. He will be forty, but he is immature and he grew up spoiled, and he gets what he wants this way I guess. I think he loves me, and loves our children, but I just can't deal with him. Its just so wrong, some things should be private. I have given him second and third chances, but he's just a big mouth and keeps talking, and coming back to tell me all the nasty things said, its done a lot of damage to my self-esteem and my end of the marriage.
If someone says something bad about someone, you don't go back and tell the person, right?
Help, anyone please, I need advice so bad, I don't know the words to use, I feel so resentful to him and his family, I would make a lousy lawyer, I just am not good at sticking up for myself enough to make things better. I am crying as I write this letter. What should I do?
This is his exerience and upbringing so far. He can be cured from this sickness by asking for help from his close friends and family.
For that to start with you will have to have a thicker skin, a larger heart and just not take his words seriousaly. Just smile each time he says anything about you, learn to use your sense of humor and just be in light mood, while you know that his bad habits.
When you smile each time he provokes or other persons influenced by him, and never lose your temper or cool, you will take away the power from him and strip him naked.
He will be soon learning that something is wrong somewhere. The stronger you make yourself and do what I suggest you will win this 'game' as he is taught that life is a silly game.
He has not been taught discretion. Everything a man or woman do usually come from the training of their parents.
Just take away his power by SMILING and shutting your ears off and whenever possible say that he has a very good sense of humor.
He will see the mirror.
editor
| By test on Friday, June 11, 2004 - 11:15 pm: |
Hey I love this great site. It is the best instructive place I have ever seen. Real meaningful. Thanks for being there.
| By Anonymous on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 09:42 pm: |
I have only been married for 2 months but, I have made my husband believe that I am not the one for him. It is very hard knowing that I have done this. I just want him to believe in us. I don't know what to do.
| By Cali on Wednesday, August 13, 2003 - 07:42 am: |
My problem is I can't let go. My husband and I were married almost 5 years ago, we have five children in total (3mine;2his) and after a hellish stepfamily stint I had to ask him to leave. Basically my children (2boys and a girl) had rules and regulations regarding to respect and appropriate behaviour and his (2girls) did not. He undermined every aspect of my adulthood and autonomy in the relationship until my own children were beginning to balk. Thing is, I can't stop thinking about him, he's bugged off without paying support, leaving me with the family bills and whatnot. I almost hate him, but ridiculously I still think about him all the time. I think I must be out of my mind. I feel no attraction to him whatsoever, his treatment of me was horrific(lying, mental manipulation, blatant verbal and emotional abuse- argh! just seeing it in print ticks me off~) I feel like I'll always be alone, and the stupid thing is- I'm a good looking, intelligent and very kind person. Why can't I let him go, forget all about him, and start a new, improved life?
| By Anonymous on Tuesday, July 15, 2003 - 03:11 pm: |
well I have been married for 8 years. We've had some pretty bad times and some good times. In april my husband and I got into a terrible argument, he told me he had enough and he was going to leave. well after he calmed down he said he would not leave until I finished school and had a job.School is over in October of this year. In the meantime we were getting along so well, talking, being very affectionate with one another,still having sex, enjoying time together, it just felt so good but then I got comfortable and mentioned something about buying a house, and he said what do you mean I told you the situation and nothing has changed. I felt so betrayed and so stupid for actually believing that things were better. So now I mope around feeling sorry for myself while he's here, always asking me what's wrong. He expects me to be happy and "normal" as he says, until the time comes. I am so confused. I'm not sure if I should try to make things work or just leave him alone. Oh not to mention we have two daughters together, I have two from a previous marriage, and he has a daughter from a previous relationship, these girls love each other and we were very fortunate that our girls got along so well. What do I do?
| By Anonymous on Saturday, April 26, 2003 - 08:40 am: |
I have been married for 20 years and I recently found out that my husband has had an affair with a coworker. We have three childred and when I told my middle child that his daddy was going to have to move out for a while so we could work through some things, he started crying which broke my heart. I told my husband that I would like to work through this for the kids sake and he said he's not sure if he is in love with me anymore that he will always love me but didnt know if that was enough. Can anyone help me cope with some encourage words from their own experience. Help.
| By danny on Tuesday, January 7, 2003 - 11:37 am: |
can anyone tell me how to get your wife to fall back in-love with you? My wife and I have three children over the years there was some verb abuse.well alot I was raised watching my father beat my mom down all the time. She{my wife} says she has lost all feelings for me. I know this is my doing I sill live with her and jellousy has become a factor. I feel she should tell me somethig what we should do.She says she dont want the big D but she dont know what she wants. I love her with all my heart,I dont want to loose her but I want her to be happy. can anyone shed some good or bad news on the whole thing?
Everything can be reversed by opposite actions and attitudes.
You can be helpful, sincere, honest, compassionate. Love is not expressed merely by kisses and huggs but by sincere efforts.
You have to win her back and to do that you have to do the same things which she considers important and symbol of love.
Trust can be gained back by persistent efforts.
Be there whenever you can and whenever she needs without asking. Change your attitude, be interested and LISTEN a lot. NO lectures or explanations just deeds.
You dont need money to do all this just your wholeself.
You will do it. Write back soon.
Editor
|
FriendsTalk.com Find friends, Contacts worldwide.. Make your free site, blog and public or private profile.. create your network |
GlobalTarget
Great Jobs.. Post your resume free Get International Exposure |
|
marriagepartner.com/mp Matrimonial Site |
Autorental.net - Find, compare a good deal for rental car |
| TravelAgency.net Wholesale rates for all travel needs, resorts, tickets to theme parks, plan vacations at low cost |
Hotelrates.com - Search hotel n Save up to 70% |
| Get Free Blog site for you at imean.com | Thinkers.net - Magazine & thoughtful discussions |
NOTE :: Please join the New Forums - Click here to register
Free INSTANT Classified ads >>
North America | America Latina | India | South Asia
[c] 1996-2006 marriagepartner.com -| Home Page