| |
| |
|
Dating Information |
|
|
|
Compatibility
Harsh words, hurting comments, tears and flying household objects - for sure, no one ever wanted that to be the everyday routine when deciding to live together with the beloved person. Yet, why is this such a common picture, portrayed even in many Hollywood dramas? Two people meet, they fall in love - that happens, in a multitude of different ways, thousands of times all over the world. Then, if they're lucky and everything goes well, they decide that since they love each other so much, they want to stay together and share a home. Now, for married as well as unmarried couples, they have to adjust to a new situation: Every-day-life decisions depend on two people's opinions, preferences and wishes instead of one before. In single life, one's the only instance of decision on what party to go to, when to clean the place, what to wear, what to eat and where to go on holiday. For a divorced person, especially with children, a lot of responsibilities are added. A single parent has to be mother, father and breadwinner, has to take care of education, the children's need for love and all other problems occurring. These responsibilities, if mastered, as well as the comparably easy life of a single person, bring a lot of independence. And this independence, being an advantage in the situations described above, can turn into a problem when it comes to living together. Suddenly, decisions need to be agreed upon by both parties, and compromises have to be made. Especially in the first time of living together, those incompatibilities can lead to the actions described above. In the adjustment period, both need to be aware of those possible dangers and respect each other's difficulties in getting along with the new situation. Otherwise, the feeling of love and closeness that originated the wish to live together is bit by bit replaced with a feeling of rejection. The natural reaction on being criticized, misunderstood or in any other way "attacked" is to defend oneself. If you're used to make decisions alone, without considering another, maybe diverging opinion, you might feel attacked when your partner doesn't share your line of thoughts or wishes. The worst, but unfortunately most common, because instinctively made, reaction is to "fight back". For example: You want to go to a party. Your partner wants to go out for dinner. So your initial feeling is being "attacked": Why does your partner reject your proposal, what's wrong with it? So the instinctive reaction, from a feeling of frustration and defiance, is to "fight back": A sharp remark, pointed at the partner's proposal and aimed to hurt, seems to be the appropriate reply. Even if no further fight is following that situation, the feeling remains and the bond between you is weakened. Now, no one would break up because of such a little fight. But it's damaging the bond between you, even just a little bit. And maybe in some years, when responsibilities like an own house and children tie you together, you'll find that the constant damage of these little incompatibilities have left you wondering what made you being together in the first place. The hideous about this process is that it works so slowly. Human beings have an astonishing ability to get used to situations and, no matter how bad things might actually be, accept them sooner or later as normal. So out of pure habit, we tolerate the incompatibilities we have to build a wall between us instead of stopping, sitting down and sorting things out. When some years of low-level fighting (not bad enough to make you break up, but bad enough to slowly poison your relationship) have passed, it's nearly impossible to fix the damage done and to erase the barriers that have hardened over the time. In order to avoid a situation where the only alternatives are professional advice or divorce, some guidelines can help keeping things from going that far to the bad side. Control yourself. By observing your reactions and the resulting tension between you and your partner, you'll be able to easily isolate the kind of feeling that makes you react sharp and hurting. So once you know where your weakness lies, keep yourself from reacting immediately upon those triggers. Think twice, and consider if your ego (nothing else you're pleasing with a sharp reply) is worth hurting your beloved one. In most situations, a second of silence is enough to make you regret the answer you would have given. Don't get it wrong, it doesn't mean you always have to step back. There are situations when a confrontation is necessary - you just have to learn how to distinguish them. Reflect on your words. Imagine the same situation, just with exchanged roles. Of course, you have to be so fair to admit if you would be hurt in your partner's place. Now that you imagined the impact your reaction would have on yourself, think twice again if it's worth it. Stay cool. The worst things are said and done in anger. If you focus on what you want to achieve, there is mostly a better way than a violent verbal or even physical reaction. Or do you really think that your partner would give in to you shouting, and even be happy with that? Be ready to share responsibility. Especially for single parents, it's difficult to get used to trusting someone else again. But without trust, your relationship won't last. Be realistic. When you move together with another person, that means that your way of life will radically change. Your indepence will be replaced by interdependence: You'll be less on your own, but mostly with our partner. You'll spend less time with our friends and more time together. In result, you'll have to compromise on what you're going to do with your time - the more your interests diverge, the tougher it'll be to find acceptable compromises. Consider this carefully, and if you think that you're not ready for it, tell your partner - before it's too late. Brigette Meier is an occassional author for http://www.e-nterests.com - visit the site for more interesting articles.
MORE RESOURCES:
Dating - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Single Sites Are A Great Tool To Network And Develop Fun And Spontaneous Relationships Online If you're tired of the boring and repetitive local dating scenes, then you should consider trying single sites to meet people with your interests alike!Where else can you find a significant number of people who are fun spirited, extremely spontaneous, and just don't want to be involved in a serious relationship as a single person?However, you may be tired of the same old bar and pub scene, so with access to singles dating online, you have a new avenue to meet some new and interesting people!Now keep in mind that online dating sites may be interpreted differently compared to personals sites, and you may have to check each one out to make sure they're right for your needs. Dating personals cater more to the individual that enjoys using the profiles, and chat features to talk to a variety of people at one time. A Nice Guys Guide to Dating Success Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever had the experience of liking a woman, being a perfect gentleman, and treating her like a queen, only to have her reject you in favor of someone else (possibly very handsome) who doesn't treat her right, or doesn't seem to care about her much at all? These kinds of men have been called "bad boys," "charm boys," or "players." When you are interested in women, do they tend to see you as a friend or "brother" rather than a romantic interest? Do women tell you you're "too nice"? If so, you are not alone. Ways to Say I Love You in Another Language Have you been looking for romantic and provocative ways to say "I Love You" to your special partner? There are numerous different and creative ways to say "I Love You," but have you ever thought about memorizing "I Love You" in as many foreign languages as possible?Imagine someone whispering to you "Je t'aime" or "Te amo" or "Aloha wau ia 'oe." You'd be intrigued, interested, and pleased, wouldn't you? Well, try several foreign language translations of "I Love You" with a special person in your life and see what happens. Defining a Relationship How does one know when a relationship is really a relationship? Very good question for all of us to ponder don't you think? Generally, when you meet someone and decide to persue some type of relationship, you most often think if the other person agrees to go out with you multiple times, one begins to think that you "click" and that maybe, just maybe this time it might work out. Do we all live in a dream world? I must make it clear that I am not "profiling" either sex as both genders are guilty of this practice. 8 Minute Dating - For Singles with No Time for Small Talk You will get to a certain age where, no matter what city code you live in, you will not be content with the date or dates you are currently having. If you're dating without success and your big event or events are turning into dating flops, then perhaps it's time to 'save time' and find a fast, free, fun, good or make that great, group of singles who are looking for the same thing you are. Co-Dependency Co-Dependency is an unhealthy reliance on another person for every thought, action, and feeling. It consists of people who seem to be defined by another other person. Tips for Creating a Successful Personal Online Dating Profile Your profile is the key to meeting your perfect match at online dating and personals services so it's surprising that many profiles are mediocre at best. With a little extra time, thought and effort, and the help of these tips, you can make yours a winner and attract a large pool of admirers to take your pick from. CyberCheapskates and Net Gold Diggers Did you know that Match.com has around twelve million members, but only a million or so of those listed have paid their dues? The most asked questions from Romance Clients? "Why don't they answer my emails?" Well, first off, you don't know and never will. First Date - Tips for Women You are on your way to your first date with him. Probably a blind date. How to Be a Great First Date Okay, you've scored a date with a sexy somebody for Saturday night, and you're terrified you're going to blow it. Don't worry; if you follow these tips, you'll do just fine. Top 10 Photo Blunders The following no-nonsense list was compiled from interviews with long-time online daters and the business executives and support staff of several major online dating services. What's the bottom line? The single most important part of online dating is how you handle the simple act of representing yourself with photos. What You Must Know About Dating a Non Christian Inevitably, when the topic of dating comes up among Christian teens, the question that always seems to come up is, "Can I date a non-Christian?"Most of the time, the typical verse that is used to answer their question is 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, which says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"Knowing that you aren't supposed to date non Christians is one thing, but actually understanding why the Lord doesn't want you to date and marry a non Christian is another matter, so let's look some of the reasons why you aren't supposed to date an unbeliever. Dating - What to Do on Your First Date Dating at first is fun but as it goes on it's easy to fall into a rut. You always go out to dinner or a movie or stay home and rent videos but you are feeling kind of bored. Male and Swinging Single As a single male trying to enter into the lifestyle successfully, I am sure you have discovered that this may be no small task for you.First, you must get yourself recognized. Coming Out... As an Internet Dater A few weeks ago I was having lunch with a casual acquaintance. As we were chatting, she mentioned her new boyfriend, Adam. Who Says Online Datings Only For Losers? I let that friend talk me into browsing some pictures on one of the more popular dating sites. I had to say, there were some pretty decent looking men on there. Dress for Dating Success: Clothes to Attract the Man of Your Dreams In order to attract the man of your dreams, it helps to dress in a way that honors your beautiful body. When I use the word "honor," I don't mean you should dress like a nun or hide yourself in an ankle-length skirt and a turtleneck. Dating a Non Christian Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14Any way you look at it, dating can be tricky?especially when religion is involved. Being raised in a Christian home where tradition runs deep, you may find yourself in the midst of a major battle when your heart is given to someone with different beliefs. When it Comes to Multicultural Dating The Most Important Ingredient is Love Have you been only dating people from your own ethnic background, to find that no matter what you try, there just seems to be no spark or real passion occurring in the relationship? Are you just about ready to give up on finding a soul mate? Well before you lose all hope in the dating world, you may want to try exploring dating someone who comes from a different culture than you. Who knows, you may just discover that a multicultural relationship is what you need to discover that special spark you've been searching for. Free Online Chat! What Are The True Costs Of Free As you're surfing the Internet and coming across titles claiming free online chat? What does this mean, and is it really for free?Most dating chat rooms and free online dating chat lines allege that the service they offer have no charge, but as you get familiar with a particular chat room, you soon find out there is a price associated to their online service!Now it all depends on what you're looking for in a chat service, and in order to find the right one for you without paying un-necessary fees!You should ask yourself, is this going to be for the free games, or for the entertainment of a chat room, where you can meet, and talk to interesting people from all over the world?Do you want to go a step further and get involved in free dating, and try and meet someone special for a possible love match.Chat rooms can be a great place to get your voice out into the world and get noticed; however, our goal is to inform you of your options, and that not all chat sites are created equal.
|
| Home | Back to Index | site map |
| © 2006 |
